Electrical Storm
by SFGrl
Summary: Depression hits one couple, threatning everything. Warning: slight suicidal themes. C&M/Songfic


**_Electrical Storm_**

Lightning flashed; and as it lit up the darkened room, he could see her sapphire eyes, lined with tears that had yet to fall.  How had they come to this moment?  How had years of friendship, love, trust and devotion melted away so quickly?  He swallowed, in a vain attempt to wet his dry throat.  He looked at her, and the words escape him.  It breaks his heart.  

She can see the pain resonate in his eyes, and she wonders why she can't just take his hand, and tell him it will all be okay.  She can't because she no longer thinks that anything will be okay.  She feels the world wrapping around her, suffocating her in a cloak of confusion, anger and bitterness.  She watches him as he weeps for her, and feels her frustration rise, when she realizes that she cannot weep for him.  She has nothing left to give.

_The sea is swells like a sore head  
and the night it is aching  
Two lovers lie with no sheets on their bed  
and the day it is breaking_

He sighs sadly, and knows that tonight will be no different than any other.  She is lost to him, and he has no idea how to find her heart again.  He listens to the rain, as it pounds the windows of the bedroom.  Closing his eyes, he can no longer deny his body's desperate cries for sleep.  He gives in to the exhaustion, if only for a few precious moments.

  
_On rainy days we go swimming out  
on rainy days, swimming in the sound  
On rainy days we go swimming out_

_  
_He sleeps.  She watches him, for a few silent moments.  In this moment, she sees nothing more than the man she married.  She loves him, she knows she does, deep down inside.  When did that become no longer enough?  

_You're in my mind all of the time  
I know that's not enough  
if the sky can crack  
there must be some way back  
for love and only love_

_  
_A high-pitched, persistent beeping pulls him from a dreamless slumber.  His mind finally registers the sound as nothing more than a car alarm going off on the streets below.  He sighs and turns over, as his eyes adjust to the dim room again.  He rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, and studies his wife's back, silhouetted against the bedroom window.  He could tell by the way she was breathing that she was awake, and yet he knew that she needed him to believe otherwise—there were no words of comfort that hadn't been spoken before.  He sighed, and climbed out of bed, knowing that the few hours of sleep he had captured were all he would be allowed.  He shuffled into the living room, and gazed out the large picture window.  The sun would be rising soon, and with it would come another day filled with constant worry and regret; sadness and grief; darkness and silence.  He stepped toward the window, and willed himself to look anywhere but into the apartment across the way.  The apartment that was filled with all of the hopes and dreams that he and his wife had abandoned long ago.  As much as he loved Ross and Rachel, there were times when he despised their happiness.  Their love was a long time coming, but their future seemed so sure now.  In a cruel twist of fate, Chandler realized that the opposite seemed true for him and Monica: a seamless transition from friends to lovers, but a future that was so unclear.

_Car alarm and back to sleep  
you kept awake dreaming some else's dream  
coffee is cold, but it will get you through  
compromise, there's nothing new to you  
let's see colours that have never been seen  
let's go to places no one else has been_

Monica felt him get out of bed, and closed her eyes tightly, for fear he would circle to her side.  She breathed deeply when she realized he had left the room.  She wanted more than anything to be able to reach out to him, to feel his arms around her, and know—_know_—that everything was going to be okay.  She knew he worried about her, and with good reason.  She had become so consumed with herself, that she would not allow herself to see what she was doing to the one closest to her heart.  The past year had been heartrending, to say the least, and while she knew that Chandler was hurting too, her own grief, guilt and regret had consumed her to a point where she was no longer capable of seeing the level of destruction she was causing.

  
_You're in my mind all of the time  
I know that's not enough  
if the sky can crack  
there must be some way back  
to love and only love_

He had come to a point where he was not even aware of his tears anymore.  The storm seemed to be intensifying, and as lightning flashed once more, he pulled himself away from the window, and shook off the stream of tears.  He had once felt helpless, and lost in himself, but he was no longer conscious of his own feelings; his world revolved around only her, and whether or not she would try to kill herself again.  The worry was driving him mad, yet he could not see it.  He worked constantly, and then spent every waking hour caring for her, attending to her needs.  He had lost his grip on reality weeks ago—he lived on her island now.

  
_Electrical Storm  
Electrical Storm  
Electrical Storm  
Baby don't cry_

He walked into the bedroom, and watched her as she feigned sleep.  Silently, he slipped back into bed, and pulled her lifeless body toward his.  He wrapped his arms around her, and closed her eyes.  He tried to ignore the tension that built in her body at his slightest touch, but after several tense minutes, she pulled away from him, and settled at the edge of the bed.  He turned away from her and closed his eyes.  He would sacrifice anything, for her happiness.

But he was dying a little more, every day.

  
_It's hot as hell, honey in this room  
sure hope the weather will break soon  
the air is heavy, heavy as a truck  
hope the rain will wash away our bad luck_

  
Morning came, and it brought with it a tentative visit from their friends.  Monica refused to see any of them: she instead holed herself up in the bedroom during the visit.  Chandler did his best to remain positive, hoping that his friends would buy into the act.  He stayed jovial, and at times even managed a sarcastic comment or two.  The others played along, but they could all see the darkness that had taken up residence in his once-sparkling crystal blue eyes.  And there was no mistaking his drastic drop in weight.  Monica's deep depression had now become his, and now they all wondered how they were ever going to get their friends back.

_If the sky can crack, there must be some way back  
for love and only love  
Electrical Storm  
Electrical Storm  
Electrical Storm  
Baby don't cry  
Baby don't cry_

©2002 **_Music by U2  
Lyrics by Bono_**


End file.
